Ten of the Most Surreal Excuses People Actually Gave for Being Late for Work

Most people have been late for work at some point in their lives, and research proves that many workers admit to regularly clocking in way later than they should. But why? Well, the common reasons employees give are the usual stuff you’d expect: heavy traffic, adverse weather conditions and broken alarm clocks. But what about the more unusual excuses? We’ve scoured the internet to find some of the truly wild, weird and wonderful reasons workers really gave for arriving to the office late. Of course, we’re not recommending that you actually use them, but hopefully they’ll amuse you…

1. “I had to untangle some squirrels”


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Reddit user mard86 wrote:

“My co-worker sent an email saying he would be late because he was trying to untie a squirrel tail knot. I asked for a picture, and he delivered.”

Here’s the original email:

“I was pressed into squirrel rescue this morning on my way out. 5 young squirrels got tangled in Christmas lights in my neighbor’s yard. We got the lights off, but now their tails are one big knot, so I have to bring them into a rescue place to untie them, as I am unequipped to untie squirrel tail knots. I should be in this afternoon.”

If you couldn’t make it up, chances are it’s true.

2. “I was getting new emojis.”

“I was getting new emojis.”
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In autumn 2015, thousands of workers the world over were late for work because they’d updated their phone. Apple helpfully offered iPhone users the chance to update iOS whle they slept. A convenient offer, apart from the fact that the update erased their alarm, meaning that many overslept. Several took to social media to express their fury at being late, but some were still pleased that the whole thing had given them a set of shiny new emojis. Priorities.

3. “I had to wait for a sloth to cross the road.”

“I had to wait for a sloth to cross the road.”
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We’re all used to seeing animals across the road – how many times have you seen a daring cat dart from one side to the other? In Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica earlier this year, commuters found themselves stuck when an adventurous (and adorable) sloth decided to cross a busy main road. The sloth is the slowest mammal on Earth, which meant tailbacks quickly built-up. Eventually, a helpful member of the public grabbed the sloth and took it to the other side of the road, but plenty of people had already been delayed.

4. “I was playing Pokemon Go.”


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In summer 2016, the world was gripped by a compelling craze: Pokemon Go. So much so, some people found catching the pocket monsters more important than getting to work on time. Turns out that for many, the morning commute was packed with Pokestops that were just too tempting to pass by. The Pokemon Go craze has died down a little now, as all crazes do, but it surely won’t be the last augmented reality game to get players so hooked they clock in late.

5. “I was having sex.”


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We’re not sure every manager would be as sympathetic as this Reddit user’s was…

6. “A cat hijacked my car.”


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Intagram user Misssohmasteelcat was made late for work by a cheeky feline who wouldn’t budge from her dashboard. She wrote:

“I don’t know this guy, but he made me late for work by refusing to get out of my car. He likes to nap in my car and make my seats all very furry and ginger. He is so adorable.”

7. “My llama gave birth.”


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On questions website Quora, someone asked users the craziest reasons they’d heard colleagues give for being late to work. One user responded to say that a high-powered manager at his former firm called in to say she was going to be late because her llama had just had a baby. According to him, ‘the llama excuse’ became the default reason for people avoiding workplace social arrangements.

8. “I dreamt I was already at work.”


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Not one but two of the respondents to the Quora question said that they or a colleague had been late for work because they had overslept and dreamt that they were already in the office. Dreams can take us to some pretty strange places, but work? For many that would be more like a nightmare.

9. “I had to go skiing.”


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Each year, website CareerBuilder.com compiles a list of the most outlandish excuses for being late that bosses have heard in the previous 12 months. This one, from their most recent survey, really takes the biscuit:

“There was fresh powder on the hill. I had to go skiing.”

10. “I was putting a raincoat on my cement duck.”


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In 2012, someone told CareerBuilder that their employee claimed to be late because they were putting a raincoat on the cement duck in their garden. Rain was due later that day, apparently, so presumably the worker was worried the statue would get wet. Hadn’t they ever heard the phrase “nice weather for ducks?” Also, if you really must put a raincoat on your fake duck, how long does it actually take to do?

UK Business Population Increases – Could Technology Hold The Key?

A record number of UK private sector businesses were in operation at the start of 2016. Industry experts believe that companies are becoming more efficient through investments in technology. Here are a few examples outlining the benefits of employee management software.

Employee Management Software

Following the publication of the Business Population Estimates, the British Chamber of Commerce believe that now is the time for business owners to invest, recruit and grow.

According to figures released by the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy, a record 5.5 million UK private sector businesses were in operation at the start of 2016, with 99.9% falling into the Small to Medium Sized Enterprise (SME) category. Since 2010 the UK business population has grown by 23% with approximately one third of all UK businesses based in either London or the South East. The number of employing businesses also increased for the third successive year with an overall total of 1.3 million.

Despite the uncertainties of the current economic climate, there is a sizable influx of new businesses and an increasing number of start-up companies growing into larger organisations. Many industry experts believe that the key to this trend is improved efficiency through investment in technology.

All organisations experience pitfalls at some stage, whether they are a start-up, SME or large manufacturing company; here are a few examples outlining the advantages of investing in top quality employee management software…

Access Control

It was recently reported that approximately one in five people in the UK are affected by crime in the workplace with the majority of cases described as internal incidents. Access control software enables organisations to ensure that their site is secured. Access to particular areas can be restricted to specific personnel or at certain times of the day, week, month or year. Access control software can also be used to monitor which employees enter designated locations and how long they spend there. Proximity cards and biometric fingerprint or facial recognition are some of the access control solutions available to organisations.

Time and Attendance with HR

It’s no secret that payroll and other Human Resource Management administrative tasks can be overly complex and time consuming thus having a detrimental effect on employee productivity. For this reason, human resource management software modules such as Time and Attendance are becoming a real necessity. Time and Attendance software offers features such as: calculation of normal and overtime hours worked by employees, shift rostering, recording of holidays, absence management and payroll reporting. Additional Human Resource Management software modules can also be used to facilitate activities such as new employee induction.

Shop Floor Data Capture

In the manufacturing sector, efficiency, capacity utilisation and economies of scale are of paramount importance. Shop floor data capture software can be utilised to monitor the progress of employees from one activity to another. Depending on the capabilities of the software, job and machine costing features could also prove invaluable.

Developed by ELF Productivity Limited, Ceequel® Employee Management Software provides a reliable, comprehensive and cost effective solution to our customers’ Time and Attendance, Access Control, Human Resource Management and Shop Floor Data Capture requirements. For more information, contact us today.

Time and Attendance Specialists ELF Productivity Limited Receive “Top 50 in Technology” Award

ELF Productivity Limited, software authors of the outstanding Ceequel Employee Management Software receive Acquisition International Magazine’s prestigious Top 50 in Technology award. Read our blog for more information.

Time and Attendance Specialists ELF Receive Award

Here at ELF Productivity, we are delighted to be included in Acquisition International Magazine’s prestigious “Top 50 in Technology”. The monthly publication which has amassed in excess of 100,000 subscribers in over 170 countries, recognises the game-changing attributes of Ceequel® Employee Management Software which has enabled ELF to become one of the fastest growing companies in the UK Time and Attendance industry sector.

Designed, authored and supported in-house by ELF, Ceequel® incorporates an extensive array of software modules capable of providing a true holistic solution to a company’s Time and Attendance, Access Control, Human Resource Management and Shop Floor Data Capture requirements. Furthermore, Ceequel® Employee Management Software has been developed to satisfy the needs of virtually any organisation, regardless of company size or industry sector. Our clients include: manufacturers, public sector organisations, SME’s and large blue chip companies, further reinforcing the considerable versatility of our service offering.

For more information about Ceequel® and the positive impact our software can have on your organisation’s productivity and profitability contact us today. To view the Acquisition International article on ELF Productivity please click here.

 

Long term Sickness linked to the decline in NHS?

With long term sickness levels on the rise UK manufacturing companies are now calling for tax breaks to be introduced to help them deal with the growing sick note culture. A recent survey carried out showes that 41% of employers have reported an increase in long term absences over the past two years.

sick leave

A recent survey carried out by Jelf shows how UK long term sickness levels have risen by two fifths for most industries which has left many companies calling for tax breaks in order to help them deal with the high costs associated with the dramatic increase of fit notes.  The survey shows that 41% of employers have reported an excessive increase in long term absences over the past two years.  With manufacturing organisation EEF saying that one in five manufacturing organisation are now having to pay for private healthcare in order to get their staff back to work, as the NHS isn’t doing enough or there are significant delays with appointments.

The most common long term absence problems that were recorded in the 306 firms studied were muscular skeletal disorders and back problems. This was closely followed by medical tests, investigations and surgery.  The survey also showed that manufacturing employees on average were taking 5.3 sick days off per annum.  The study comes ahead of a green paper due to be published in summer of 2016 on workforce health and is the UK’s biggest business survey on sickness absence to date.

 

Productivity Gains from Flexible Working

Every company strives to improve employee productivity. After all a productive workforce is a happy workforce and happy people often produce a higher standard of work. Reliable working is just one of many options to boost employee productivity.

Flexiable Working

Since the twentieth century UK employees have been expected to work a total of forty hours a week. Working eight hours a day, five days a week is considered natural to most people and a vast improvement on the 12 hour, 6 day week prior to that.  However as times change so do companies thoughts on how many hours an employee should work per week.

Many companies are opting to allow their employees to work a four day week – instead of the now considered – traditional five.  These companies believe that a shorter working week increases productivity levels in the workplace and therefore leads to an improved working environment.

However there are still some companies who remain unconvinced.  Detailed below are three reasons why a four day working week would be beneficial to both employers and employees.

Improved work-life balance

In today’s world, employees can struggle with finding an acceptable work-life balance.  Working long hours, five days a week, often impacts on the quality time parents spend with their children. Employees who don’t have parental commitments can also experience time intrusions on their out of work activities and social commitments.

Allowing your employees to work a four day week provides them with more personal time, giving them the chance to be more focused and productive.

Parents can spend more time with their children and family life. Employers, who are flexible on which day an employee takes off, allow both parents the opportunity to spend equal amounts of time with their children, as alternate days can be had away from the workplace.

Employees without children can also use extended weekends to participate in out of work activates such as hobbies.  A longer weekend gives staff more time to relax, meaning employees are more likely to come into work on a Monday feeling refreshed and enthusiastic.

More Productive Employees

Companies often assume that having a four day week will significantly impact the amount of productive work from employees.  This however is not known to be correct.  Employees are more aware they have less time to complete their weekly tasks and therefore they become more focused and productive.  Most employees will no longer waste time checking emails or interacting on social-sites and re-direct their attention on to completing the essential tasks in the given time.

A longer weekend also provides employees with the ability to completely switch off from work and concentrate on relaxing and revitalising.

Ultimately this leads to happier more productive employees.

Increase employee retention

Employee retention is vital to running a successful organisation. Every company wants to retain their best employees, their skills and knowledge.  Losing essential members of the workforce can not only impact businesses negatively but is often costly.  Attracting replacements can be a long, tedious and costly process and will generally have an effect on productivity and quality whilst new employees are up-skilled.

Ultimately – providing your employees with a four day week option is a positive way to incentive your employees to stay with the company.  It makes your organisation more appealing over your competitors when it comes to recruiting for new employees.   A four day working week can also act as an alternative to pay-increases or staff bonuses – improving your businesses bottom line.

 

Ceequel® Software Access Control vs Panel Box Systems

Our access control system has drastically changed the face of access control for many businesses. Classic site based systems rely on physical wiring and multiple site control boxes in order to manage who goes where. Our system works on both Local Area Networks (LAN) and Wide Area Networks (WAN) and communicates via TCIP/IP meaning companies are able to control access to all of their sites from one central station.

Ceequel® software-based access control has changed the face of access control. The software operates on both Local Area Networks (LAN) and Wide Area Networks (WAN), and communicates via TCIP/IP so companies are able to control access to all their sites from one central station.

Contrast this with classic site-based central panel systems that need multiple electric panel boxes, power supplies, and site controllers to control specific clusters of doors. Oh, yes, and there’s also the host PC, RS485 cables to provide communication to each panel box, and feet upon feet of wiring between the panels and door controllers. Central panel installation calls for expensive electricians, and at the end of the day all it provides is limited access control to employees using proximity cards.

Ceequel® Access Control, on the other hand, is one-size-fits-all, supporting not only proximity cards, but also key fobs, barcodes, company-designed ID cards, and even fingerprint biometrics. It supplies each access point with a list of authorised employees and detailed information as to exactly who is allowed access and when. That one-size-fits-all feature extends to Ceequel®’s ability to control not only door locks but turnstiles, barriers, and fast lane systems.

Since all Ceequel® modules are based on Microsoft SQL technology, they can run seamlessly on existing systems and infrastructures; since the access control module uses the same hardware and ID cards as the Ceequel® Time and Attendance module, the two can be fully integrated. In addition, whatever data is collected by the Access Control module can be used in conjunction with the Fire Register and Employee Tracking modules.

So if you’re ready to move beyond a twentieth Century central panel access control system, contact us. We provide a turn key solution, with everything you need to fully meet your twenty-first century access control needs.

Reducing the Workload for Human Resources

Two of the most important tasks a human resource department is the maintenance of all company employees and the successful implementation of new starters. Both of these aspects require HR personnel to spend valuable company time completing mundane tasks. With Ceequel HR management these functions can actually be automated reducing time and saving money.

Two of the responsibilities of Human Resources (HR) are maintaining the organisation chart of a company and successfully bringing in new starters. Both aspects of HR involve personnel spending time on mundane details. With Ceequel these HR management functions can be automated reducing the time spent. In addition process improvements are observed.

Continue reading “Reducing the Workload for Human Resources”